I seem to have a new favourite word. My colleague keeps teasing me because whenever she asks my opinion on things, I tell her, I feel a bit lukewarm about it. I’ve upgraded my vocabulary from saying so-so, or meh, or just shrugging my shoulders, to actually coming up with a word that I feel so strongly about whenever I utter it: lukewarm.
There’s a feeling of novelty to it, like a millennial discovering a new blend of avocado to put on her toast. Kidding. But it’s encompassing a great deal of emotions that I can’t quite seem to expound on, because let’s be honest, no one needs to hear a dissertation of my sentiments. Also I’m not sure I have a lot of them.
Lukewarm. When people say it’s lukewarm it’s almost like bland or indifferent, but it’s really more depictive of something that used to be boiling and active but just cooled down to a bearable if not acceptable state. Perhaps something you could be passionate about but just can’t care less anymore.
In other news, I can’t focus at work. No amount of bulletproof coffee is going to resolve this, maybe.
I daydream about the day I’m out there and finally experiencing half of my childhood dreams.
See, what you need to know about us middle class children in Asia is that we’re pretty easy to please. Most of the time, we just need to get out of the places we’ve grown old at and we’re happy. I won’t tell you yet what my childhood list is, but I can tell you right now that I can’t stop imagining what I will do when I encounter it.
The strange part is having to deal the emotions I have right now because tbh, it’s giving me a whiplash. I can’t talk about it, I’m sorry, because I have promised myself that I won’t talk about a lot of feelings anymore on any online avenues that could be associated to me, but believe me, it’s starting again: from boiling to warm to lukewarm. It’s not a fun feeling.
Maybe soon I’ll have a better post. I’m okay, I promise.